Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
2011 Emotional Rollercoaster
2011 was an emotional rollercoaster for me, w/ school, ex boyfriend drama, and an "accident" that left me more confused then ever, messing up my wrist and having to have reconstructive surgery on in and being in a cast for 4 months, then more emotions w/ school and being around a person that you still love but you both know that it will just not work out and are trying to be friends, just to name a few. A lot of shit went down in 2011 that I just wish never happened, but that's life and I just have to buck up and deal with it. It's the past and I'm not looking back.
Some good things did happen this year to me and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I've become soooooo much closer to my best friend Kristi and her son. I love them so much and I know that they will always be there for me no matter what and the same goes me, I'll always be for them. I turned 21 and from what I can remember of the night it was one of the best nights of my life. Surrounded w/ my best of friends and having a great time at Station7. I met this guy and we hit it off and it was amazing while it lasted. Even though things may not have ended up the way I wanted to w/ him I'm ok w/ that now. Some may be like "well how is that a good thing?". To me it is b/c he taught me that I'm beautiful just the way I am and that is ok. He showed me that sexy isn't all about what is on the outside but whats on the inside and how confident you are in yourself and I am thankful for the fact that he came into my life and showed me that. Yes I was very hurt w/ what happened between us but maybe it was for the better after all. He is still in my life but just as a friend and I'm ok w/ that. New Years Eve was also a highlight of 2011 for me. I may not have gone all out that night but that's fine w/ me b/c I still had a great time w/ my small group of friends that night.
I am so grateful for my friends. I don't think I would have made it through the year without them. I take every word they say to me and take it to heart. I will always be there for them all even though I don't get to see some of them that much. I love you all: Kristi, Kenny, Megan, Annie, Leanne, EJ, Maryeva, and Danny.
I have a feeling that this year is going to be a lot better. I started off on a high note and I'm going to try and keep it that way. I'm going to work on myself and they way I look at myself.
Some good things did happen this year to me and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I've become soooooo much closer to my best friend Kristi and her son. I love them so much and I know that they will always be there for me no matter what and the same goes me, I'll always be for them. I turned 21 and from what I can remember of the night it was one of the best nights of my life. Surrounded w/ my best of friends and having a great time at Station7. I met this guy and we hit it off and it was amazing while it lasted. Even though things may not have ended up the way I wanted to w/ him I'm ok w/ that now. Some may be like "well how is that a good thing?". To me it is b/c he taught me that I'm beautiful just the way I am and that is ok. He showed me that sexy isn't all about what is on the outside but whats on the inside and how confident you are in yourself and I am thankful for the fact that he came into my life and showed me that. Yes I was very hurt w/ what happened between us but maybe it was for the better after all. He is still in my life but just as a friend and I'm ok w/ that. New Years Eve was also a highlight of 2011 for me. I may not have gone all out that night but that's fine w/ me b/c I still had a great time w/ my small group of friends that night.
I am so grateful for my friends. I don't think I would have made it through the year without them. I take every word they say to me and take it to heart. I will always be there for them all even though I don't get to see some of them that much. I love you all: Kristi, Kenny, Megan, Annie, Leanne, EJ, Maryeva, and Danny.
I have a feeling that this year is going to be a lot better. I started off on a high note and I'm going to try and keep it that way. I'm going to work on myself and they way I look at myself.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Empty
Too much work in the day
Too many nights alone
Too much time in my house
And still not at home
Surrounded by people
Yet no friends can be found
Surrounded by noise
Yet I hear not a sound
I know many people
Whose smiles are not real
I know their hearts beat
And still they don't feel
The world is full of stuff
And I seem to have plenty
But with no one to love me
My soul still feels empty
Too many nights alone
Too much time in my house
And still not at home
Surrounded by people
Yet no friends can be found
Surrounded by noise
Yet I hear not a sound
I know many people
Whose smiles are not real
I know their hearts beat
And still they don't feel
The world is full of stuff
And I seem to have plenty
But with no one to love me
My soul still feels empty
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Years! 2012
I had the best NYE last night ever. I got to spend it w/ my best friend Kristi and her bf Kenny, also w/ my friends Aaron and Corey. We didn't do much just sat and talked w/ some drinks and played pool but it was still fun. <3 As for a New Years Resalution I'm not making one b/c well I never keep them. I don't think anyone really does anyway lol :)
 |
| New Years Eve ready <3 |
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Dear Kristi Lee
Dear Kristi Lee
I love you sooo much Kristi. You give me the strength to do things that I never thought I could do (like the other night). I really don't know what I would do without you in my life. I might just go crazy if you weren't. I can always depend on you to be there when I need someone to talk to about anything, weather it be about whats going on with school, at home, in my head(which is a little scary at times and you know it), boys, nothing is off limits when I talk to you. You push me to do things that I would have never done on my own and yes some of the outcomes have been less then pleasant but that's life and you never know if you might be good at it or if he might be the one without trying first, and I thank you for that.
I love the fact that you can always make me smile when I really don't want to. But the stupid things you say or do force it out of me. Only a true best friend can do that. I've had so many fun/crazy times with you that I wouldn't trade the world for! People may think that we are weird b/c of the things we do or the thing we say but I don't care, they just don't understand true friendship when they see it. Like really how many friends sit there in the bathroom talking to each other while one of them is in the shower, or have their own kind of sign language, or when one is crying the other pushes them on the bed and humps them and asked if it's all better now? Only true friends can pull that off without people questioning them.
Kristi I can't express how much I love you in this stupid letter b/c if I could you would be reading this forever. You are my one and only TRUE best friend, and I thank you for that. I'm crying like a big baby while writing this b/c I really don't know what I would do if I lost you as a friend. You are my friend, counselor, ass kicker(when need be), but most of all you are my sister. You are my security and I would be lost without you. It's like I'm Linus and you are my blanket :)
Forever w/ Love
(your wife) Erin-Nichole
I love you sooo much Kristi. You give me the strength to do things that I never thought I could do (like the other night). I really don't know what I would do without you in my life. I might just go crazy if you weren't. I can always depend on you to be there when I need someone to talk to about anything, weather it be about whats going on with school, at home, in my head(which is a little scary at times and you know it), boys, nothing is off limits when I talk to you. You push me to do things that I would have never done on my own and yes some of the outcomes have been less then pleasant but that's life and you never know if you might be good at it or if he might be the one without trying first, and I thank you for that.
I love the fact that you can always make me smile when I really don't want to. But the stupid things you say or do force it out of me. Only a true best friend can do that. I've had so many fun/crazy times with you that I wouldn't trade the world for! People may think that we are weird b/c of the things we do or the thing we say but I don't care, they just don't understand true friendship when they see it. Like really how many friends sit there in the bathroom talking to each other while one of them is in the shower, or have their own kind of sign language, or when one is crying the other pushes them on the bed and humps them and asked if it's all better now? Only true friends can pull that off without people questioning them.
Kristi I can't express how much I love you in this stupid letter b/c if I could you would be reading this forever. You are my one and only TRUE best friend, and I thank you for that. I'm crying like a big baby while writing this b/c I really don't know what I would do if I lost you as a friend. You are my friend, counselor, ass kicker(when need be), but most of all you are my sister. You are my security and I would be lost without you. It's like I'm Linus and you are my blanket :)
Forever w/ Love
(your wife) Erin-Nichole
Should've Known It Was Too Good To Be True!
Once again my heart has been riped out thrown on the ground and stomped on. I should have know that this would have ended up like this, b/c they always do for me. He was just too good to be true. Good looking, funny, smart, said that he like me they way I am. Like I said too good to be true for a girl like me who still lives w/ her parents, fat, doesn't drive, and wears her heart on her sleeve.
I feel like a complete idiot for even thinking that he would even want to be w/ me. We would talk for hours and hours every night about stupid things, asking stupid questions and getting stupid answers. He made me smile, hell he made me happy for the first time in a really long time. Now all I can do is cry b/c of what he said to me. That he isn't looking to date b/c he is too busy w/ his job and son. I don't think he knows how that makes me feel. It's not like I want all his attention on me, I understand that he has a son and it takes a lot to be a single parent. I'm not high maintenance, I want is idk to be able to talk to him at night see him on weekends when he isn't busy. I like my space just as much as the next person, I'm not asking him to be w/ me 24/7.
IDK anymore. Why do I even bother to put myself out there just so I can get hurt over and over again. I really, really liked him and in the end I got hurt like always. I'm just so tired of this!
I feel like a complete idiot for even thinking that he would even want to be w/ me. We would talk for hours and hours every night about stupid things, asking stupid questions and getting stupid answers. He made me smile, hell he made me happy for the first time in a really long time. Now all I can do is cry b/c of what he said to me. That he isn't looking to date b/c he is too busy w/ his job and son. I don't think he knows how that makes me feel. It's not like I want all his attention on me, I understand that he has a son and it takes a lot to be a single parent. I'm not high maintenance, I want is idk to be able to talk to him at night see him on weekends when he isn't busy. I like my space just as much as the next person, I'm not asking him to be w/ me 24/7.
IDK anymore. Why do I even bother to put myself out there just so I can get hurt over and over again. I really, really liked him and in the end I got hurt like always. I'm just so tired of this!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sold My Books
Ok so I don't get this. I sold back 2 of my books this semester and got $50 for both of them. Not bad b/c I really didn't pay that for them in the first olace, but last spring I sold all four of my books and only got $45 for all of them. What is up with that?
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Ocean of Thoughts
You walk the shores
leaving footsteps in the sand
walking along
with no master plan
The ocean wipes clean
all the feelings between
and sets you free
within peace and serenity
As you walk along
and stroll across the sand
you listen to the waves
nature's music nature's band
You clear your mind,
let you're self go,
soar through the wind,
listening to you're heart,
deciding what's right
and let you're troubles fade
As you just stop to feel
Across the sky you glance
Wondering if your ready
To maybe take a chance
It has hurt before each time
You think about what is to gain
Fear slips into the walk
As you remember previous pain
The memories come like a flood
but you begin to wonder
can this time be different
can this time be real
should I take the leap of faith
take a risk, for either way
everything will change
For the heart is a vessel
that one has to be careful with
Though it will hold much
and is extremely strong
It is made special
It is made to be cherished
It wasn't made to be treated wrong
You wonder if to not say something
Is the same as not being true?
Not telling are you really being real?
But if they really care for you
And who you think they are
Yet you wonder once it is said
will they be distant like a star
leaving footsteps in the sand
walking along
with no master plan
The ocean wipes clean
all the feelings between
and sets you free
within peace and serenity
As you walk along
and stroll across the sand
you listen to the waves
nature's music nature's band
You clear your mind,
let you're self go,
soar through the wind,
listening to you're heart,
deciding what's right
and let you're troubles fade
As you just stop to feel
Across the sky you glance
Wondering if your ready
To maybe take a chance
It has hurt before each time
You think about what is to gain
Fear slips into the walk
As you remember previous pain
The memories come like a flood
but you begin to wonder
can this time be different
can this time be real
should I take the leap of faith
take a risk, for either way
everything will change
For the heart is a vessel
that one has to be careful with
Though it will hold much
and is extremely strong
It is made special
It is made to be cherished
It wasn't made to be treated wrong
You wonder if to not say something
Is the same as not being true?
Not telling are you really being real?
But if they really care for you
And who you think they are
Yet you wonder once it is said
will they be distant like a star
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
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